Geek Friendships

Oy fucking vey.
It's been six months since last I posted - a fact which has caused much weeping and gnashing of teeth among some of the more loyal readers. During this time, my life has gotten exciting to say the least. I've attended countless rock concerts, been an accessory to much debauchery, and have/still am dating several different people at once. Coming back to Lovably Geeky is like returning home - the Prodigal Blogger. It's comforting to sit back down in my cozy wheely chair in the corner of the room, talk to some good old fashioned internet pals, and get back in touch with my geeky roots.

Now that I'm done pretending people care about my silly little introspective moments, I can move on to the subject of today's piece: geek friendships. There are no friendships quite like those that exist between two hardcore geeks. Many geeks have trouble making friends, particularly in highly conformist environments such as high school. So when geeks can make friends, we do not fuck around.

The closest, most enriching friendships I have ever known have been with other geeks. Because, you see, a geek is a person who is passionate about something, whether it's science, roleplay, comics, Whedon, or music - and believe you me, we are as passionate about our friendships as we are about any of those things. A friendship with a geek is a closely knit bond, with defenses not even a Dalek could exterminate. My geek friends are loyal and protective, as I am to them.

Allow me to illustrate my point. I've been polyamorous for several months, but there was a brief period in August during which I casually dated only one fellow. The geek committee was worried for me, and almost immediately started talking about all the things they'd like to do to him were he to break my heart. These ideas included the usual badassery (such as kicking his ass, beating him with a baseball bat until he stops moving, throwing rocks through his bedroom window hoping one hits him, etc.), but there were also some new and unusual ideas, most notably, to find him out walking one day, chase him with a hearse to the edge of a pier, get out of the car, and slap him across the face with a dead fish so that he falls into the water. Of course, (disclaimer) nobody was actually planning on doing any of those things - which is good, because otherwise he'd still be flailing around in the ocean with a sore face.

Additionally, geeky hobbies and interests are more fun when they can be shared with other people. What's better: staying up all night watching Firefly alone, or staying up all night watching Firefly with friends? Probably the latter. Especially since you can all choose a different character and speak their lines aloud in front of the screen a la Rocky Horror. Also, think of geek activities specifically designed for groups. Can you have math club with only one member? Can you play D&D all by yourself? What about 4Chan? They call it a legion for a reason! Geeks thrive off of each others' ideas and energy. The concept of being a 'geek' wouldn't even exist if it weren't a widespread enough culture. If nobody else, we always have each other. And that is nothing at which to sneeze.

Geeks On A Date

After you saw Snakes On A Plane for the first time, you probably said to yourself, "Oh my word, nothing in the world could be more terrifying than that!"
Well, you were wrong. Because at that point, you couldn't possibly have anticipated the event that would come to pass in the future: GEEKS ON A DATE.

Cast of Characters:
Voldemort: An alias which accurately describes my ex
Awesome Sauce: My new and improved boyfriend, who has no known incestuous feelings
Mumsy: My mom
Terrified Restaurant Patron #1: This is self-explanatory.

       It all started about a week after Voldemort broke up with me. I was talking online with Voldemort's friend, Awesome Sauce, about how the break-up had affected me. Awesome Sauce then offered to take me to the movies the following day. I politely accepted.

Scene 1 (Me, in the car with Mumsy)
Mumsy: So, is this trip to the movies a date?
Me: No, that's weird.
Mumsy: Why would that be weird?
Me: Well, because Voldemort broke up with me but a week ago.
Mumsy: Okay then.

Scene 2 (At the mall, Mumsy and I spot Awesome Sauce)
Me: Hi, Awesome Sauce! This is Mumsy.
Mumsy: Hello, Awesome Sauce. I'll be going soon; I just wanted to make sure you didn't have a swastika carved into your forehead or something! (Laughs as if joking, then discreetly examines his forehead)
(Mumsy exits.)

Scene 3
Awesome Sauce then proceeds to whisk me off to the mall's resident Olive Garden. As we enter the room, restaurant patrons immediately begin to stare, unnerved, as Awesome Sauce and I slither to our seats, accompanied by the bravest waitress. As we begin to discuss Joss Whedon and D&D, the surrounding customers look even more alarmed. The waitress stands two feet away from our table whilst taking our orders. She managed to bring us the correct meals, despite her shakily-written notes. Suddenly, the question on the minds of all the terrified restaurant patrons pops into my mind.
Me: Is this a date?
Awesome Sauce: I don't know...is it?
Me: I don't know! Is it?
(silence)
Awesome Sauce: I think the fact that neither of us knows might mean that the answer is yes.
Me: Well, do you like me?
Awesome Sauce: Yes.
Me: But do you like me like that?
Awesome Sauce: ...Do you like me like that?
Me: Do you like me like that?!
Awesome Sauce: Let's answer at the same time.
Me: Okay.
Awesome Sauce and Me: One, two, three, yes.
Awesome Sauce: Well then, it's a date!
Me: Great! Glad we got that cleared up.
       The restaurant EXPLODES with fright. Busboys faint, people are screaming. Plates are dropped, food goes flying.
Terrified Restaurant Patron #1: GET THESE MOTHERFUCKING GEEKS OFF THIS MOTHERFUCKING DATE!
       Awesome Sauce and I are forced to flee the restaurant, but we have already missed the movie. We instead take a stroll to Barnes&Noble, causing car accidents as we go.

In The Geek Midwinter

In case you haven't noticed, there is a shitload of snow.

I chose to state this fact because I know that the vast majority of my readers are geeks, and many geeks have been known to sit at a computer screen for days at a time without so much as looking out a window. This would render them oblivious to the previously mentioned shitload of snow. 

Where there's snow, there are snow days. Such days without school tend to be a geek's paradise. While other social groups complain about the risk of missing spring break or the beautiful days of summer, geeks tend not to mind that quite as much. It's not like we go outside anyway. And spring break? Really? What are we gonna do, go to Disney World with our "bff"s? Be the only kids in the water-park wearing over-sized T-shirts over our swimsuits? Go on giant rides only to vomit or faint afterwards? Bitch please. We're geeks, not idiots. 

Additionally, snow days are a perfect opportunity for geeks to spend an entire day on their obsessions. We can catch up on our webcomics, spend the day playing WoW, do some online D&D, or even, y'know, get some extra sleep...LOL. As if we sleep. Bahaha. I crack myself up sometimes. 

The only geeks who seem to be unhappy by the snow days are the geeks with the unfortunate, grueling task of shoveling. This is a particularly dismal task for geeks, as we do not tend to be very strong. Shoveling a driveway takes on average 50% longer for geeks than it does for average folk, according to a study I just found up my ass and pulled out. Yeah, legit. 

So, happy winter! I hope you all enjoy your snow days. I love snow, personally. Matches my pasty-white complexion. 

Geek Personality

Throughout the course of this blog, I've talked about many geek-related things. 

     I've spoken mainly about the interests, habits, and mannerisms of geeks, along with personal experiences with geeky subject matter. But now, I will delve into further description of the personalities of geeks. Certainly personality varies by person, but there seem to be three major categories of geek personalities, into which most geeks can fit. 

-      The Pompous Geek: It is a sad truth that many geeks are arrogant bastards. There are some who, though they live in their mother's basements, consider themselves the most 1337 people to ever pwn n00bs. It's obnoxious. They spend their days trolling 4Chan and ogling Japanese teenagers. 

        However, there are other arrogant geeks who are legitimately successful. You know the type. The genius with big fancy diplomas which he stares at every morning to remind him of how awesome he is. He always seems to think that you're hopelessly interested in whatever it is he does, whether it's physics, computer programming, or law. He'll condescendingly explain complex ideas to you, and then he'll laugh and say, "Oh, you wouldn't understand," and leave, doing that little head-wag thing that people with big egos do. 

-      The Depressed Geek: These geeks are a sad sight indeed. Typically painfully shy, they are the corner-dwellers of society, the kids who sit alone reading manga whilst the other kids play tag. They often spend countless hours on the internet, they may be 4-channers but aren't usually the assy type, and they participate in few to no social events. Low self-esteem is also a characteristic of these geeks. The poor folks. :( 

-      The Happy, Awesome Geek: Some geeks are just fucking awesome. These are the geeks that you are most likely to see in the media, like Felicia Day, Jonathan Coulton, and Joss Whedon. Obsessive by nature, these geeks often have many interests and talents. Additionally, they're often achievers, like Bad Horse. ...I meant Ghandi. They usually have plenty of good friends though seldom can be considered "popular", and they tend to have rather happy outlooks on life, even if they may have brief and occasional depressions. 

Gifted

It is a common stereotype that geeks are very intellectually advanced. 

It is not necessarily an incorrect stereotype, either. Many geeks refuse to have any social life, and instead spend their time in a constant quest for straight A's. Even geeks with social lives are often great over-achievers in school. 

I am not an overachiever. I try my best, and in my opinion, that's good enough. I could certainly drink obscene amounts of caffeine and become a workaholic if I wanted to. But frankly? I have better things to do. That kind of existence is a waste of life. I like to enjoy myself, and to enrich my mind in ways that don't necessarily help me get a 4.5 GPA. 

At this point, I am not the classic straight-A student who's exceptionally advanced in comparison to their peers. But I used to be... 

I learned to read at the age of four. By first grade, I was practically dying of boredom in school. Instances like the following were consistent:

Teacher: Who knows what this word is? 

Me: (raises hand immediately) 

Teacher: BESIDES MAGGHIE.

Some Kid: Is it...red? 

Teacher: Why, yes it is! Good job! 

Me: (FACEDESK.)

Or how about this one: 

Some Kid: Magghie, how do you spell 'friend'?

Me: F-r-i-e-n-d. Friend.

Teacher: Class, if you don't know the answer to a question, you should ask ME. Because your classmates might not always be right.

Me: (musing) But I am always right.

This one was probably the most common:

Some Kid: Hey Magghie, I wrote a whole page for the timed write. How many did you write?

Me: I wrote seven and a half. 

Some Kid: (disappointed facial expression) Oh...

Teacher: Class, it doesn't matter how much you write. All that matters is how well it's written. Magghie, you lose snack for bragging. 

I fucking hated that teacher. 

One of my biggest struggles throughout elementary school was the fact that the more gifted children in the class (like me) were forced to spend time with slower students, attempting to drive basic concepts into their thick skulls. 

Grade: Second. Assignment: Help Slow Kid write a Father's Day paper

Me: What's something you like about your father?

Slow Kid: Uhhhhh...he's nice.

Me: Okay, why don't you write that?

Slow Kid: Ummm...okay. 

Me: Tell me something else about your dad.

Slow Kid: He's fat. 

Me: I don't think you should write that. It's not very nice.

Slow Kid: But he likes being called fat.

Me: I doubt that.

Slow Kid: What does that mean? 

Me: I don't think he likes being called fat.

Slow Kid: (spitefully) I'm writing it anyway. 

Me: Fine. Also, remember that you have to include figurative language. 

Slow Kid's final paper was something along these lines:
My dad is nice. He is as fat as ten gorillas. Happy Father's Day, Dad. 

Love,

Slow Kid

Speaking of gorillas, this is a dialog between a third grade classmate and I:

Classmate: Guess what I named my stuffed gorilla!!!

Me: Warfare?

Classmate: Uh, no. Joey!

(I don't think she got the joke.) 

In fourth grade, the students began to realize that they could use my intellect for their own selfish needs. I would write long essays and narratives for class, and they would ask if they could read them. Proud of my work, I would agree, and I basked in the praise that they gave me. It took me a few weeks to realize that they were only doing this so they could copy my ideas! Shocked and appalled, I then began to reserve my writings for the teacher's eyes only. 

This decision may have affected my popularity, because a rumor started going around about how I wanted to shower with some guy in our class. Yes, this was in fourth grade, and yes, whomever started it was seriously fucked up. (And yes, I just ended a sentence with a preposition, but I feel it was entirely necessary to the meaning of the sentence.)

Anyhow, straight-A's continued until high school, when school started being difficult. I'm still a pretty good student, but my frustration with the majority of my fellow classmates is now more based on their maturity, rather than intellectual inferiority. Don'tcha just love happy endings? 

I Wish I Were Allie Brosh

I've been told that if you want to be good at something, you should look at the work of other people, who are good at whatever it is at which you want to be good.
For instance, if you want to be good at directing movies or television shows, you should look at the work of Joss Whedon. If you want to be good at singing, you should listen to the work of Barbra Streisand. And if you want to be good at cheering people up by making them twinkie weiner sandwiches, you should watch the movie "UHF", in which the character of George Newman does just that.
Needless to say, this technique can be applied to the skill of blogging. Upon writing the first entry of "Lovably Geeky", I had only read the work of one other blogger: Xavier Yes. Mr. Yes is a phenomenal blogger, and I am particularly fond of his blog called "Pavlov's Hair Conditioner".
Besides Xavier's example, I was completely winging it. For the most part, I still am.
However, since beginning my blogging career, I have begun to familiarize myself with several other blogs, my favorite of which is definitely "Hyperbole and a Half" by Allie Brosh.
I don't think anybody has made me laugh quite like she has. In her blog, she contains a delightful mixture of stories of her life and brilliant tips, like how to remove yourself from awkward situations, and how to entertain yourself using a brick. Her blog is the most hilarious thing that has ever graced my line of sight, and I highly recommend it to anybody who likes hilarious things gracing their line of sight.
Her spectacular blog is featured in the "Things At Which You Should Look" panel to the right of the page. Other things that are there include the previously mentioned blog of Xavier Yes, an up-and-coming blog which cleverly reviews and discusses the subject of film, and a youtube channel in which you can view videos of pretty singing in Japanese.
...
Goddamn it.
I'm still not Allie Brosh.

Gossip and the Geek

     I apologize to my faithful blog readers for not having written in a while. I've been busy getting engaged and stuff. But now, I'm back in BloggerMode, ready to shower the world with my quirky tales of life, unsolicited opinions, and analysis of geek culture.
     Oh hey. Hey reader. Didja see what I did in that introduction? I smoothly integrated the fact that I'm engaged in a casual, nonchalant manner! Look how clever I am! Wahaha!
     Okay, but really. To those of you who don't already know (though I imagine there are very few of you), I have recently become engaged to that magnificent person I've been dating for six and a half months. Upon receiving this bigass ruby, and after the initial reaction of overwhelming joy, a few things occurred to me. For instance, it occurs to me that, since I am a minor, I'll have to wait a couple of years before I can get married. It also occurred to me that many people would consider the news quite surprising, and that some may not be entirely supportive. However, it did not occur to me for a second how quickly the news would get around.
     I am being open about the engagement. I'm fine with people knowing. But it's brought me a kind of social attention that I have never received before in high school. Random strangers have begun approaching me in person and online asking if I am truly engaged. Though some of these people think it's sweet and others think I'm off my rocker, everybody seems to have one common feeling: interested. Being the subject of such gossip is a very foreign feeling to me as a geek. Sure, there's occasional comments among strangers regarding my odd taste in hats and constant loud singing, but nothing like this before. No random people have ever approached me asking if I really play Dungeons and Dragons, or if I really have memorized every word of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, or if I really know Weird Al's shoe size (ten and a half). Now suddenly, strangers want to know about my personal affairs? Holy shit!

The common reactions of most people (strangers and otherwise) upon hearing the news are one of the following:
a. Congratulations!
b. Like...seriously?
c. SHUT UP YOU'RE FIFTEEN YOU KNOW NOTHING. (I just adore receiving this one. *cringe*)

However, some people have had some rather...unique reactions like:
- "Can I be a bridesmaid?" This comment came from a GUY. (Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure he was joking)
- "Okay."
- "Will you name your first-born child after me?"
- One person face-palmed and said, "Oh my god..."

So yeah. SOCIAL ATTENTION IS WEIRD. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing...it is just not a usual aspect of being a geek, and I'm finding it very foreign and a little overwhelming.